My Core Values

Day 1: Define your core values

I’ve been stewing over my core values for a few days now. It’s been hard narrowing them down to just a short list and really doing that introspective thing and finding out what I really value, as opposed to what I think other people would expect me to value.

I know this is the art of womenliness project, and I was supposed to come up with a list of values that I uphold as a woman, but I didn’t actually factor my gender in to this list as I was making it. (I’m not sure what that means! Should I have considered my gender more? Is my gender an integral part of who I am? Should gender really sway your values one way or another? Great questions for a feminist lit. class, I’m sure.) Perhaps my gender has a natural influence, but these are things that I value as a human being.

Integrity - I value honesty in all areas of life. I think that it is beyond important to be honest with your dealings at work, home, with friends, family, and especially with yourself--the hardest person to be honest with. My sister Cheryl is a rockin’ example of integrity. I have never seen her compromise her integrity. She does what is right anytime, anyplace, anywhere, even when the consequences aren’t favorable and the easy way out is available.  Whenever I’m faced with a hard decision that may involve sacrificing my integrity, I think of Cheryl and what she would do. She doesn’t know that.

My husband, Richard, is also a rockstar when it comes to integrity. I admire how honest he is with himself. He frequently evaluates his motives and keeps them pure. Consequently, he makes really good choices and is selfless and consistent--I love him for it.

I value the integrity that I see in others, and I am striving to have that same integrity. I can usually tell when my motives are out of whack or when I’m not being honest with myself because I either A) feel selfish/lame or B) cannot get the chi flowing with I practice yoga. Yoga is the hardest when I am fighting with myself--selfish motives vs. pure motives. Yoga is the bomb.

As a couple, Richard and I have wanted integrity to be one of the building blocks of our relationship, home, and family. Consequently, we find ourselves making a bigger effort to be true to our word, following through on commitments, and doing the right things for the right reasons (and trying very hard not to do the right things for the wrong reasons or the wrong things for the right reasons).

Creativity - “I listen to the wind, to the wind of my soul. I let my music take me where my heart longs to go.”

I always loved doing creative projects as a kid, even though I epically failed at art. I felt like I could create my own little world where there were no limits to the use of color! I usually overdid it on the bright colors (just like I overdo it now with spices when I cook). My creative outlet as an adult has been music. I’m lucky to have a musical husband. Playing music is one of our favorite things to do together. I feel like creativity is a great escape from the rat-race I swim against every day. Let’s just face it--state street in Orem is an ugly mess of run down businesses,  parking lots, and telephone lines. I love escaping that mess through my music and other creative ventures. Richard and I are also in the process of creating a garden in our backyard as our own little personal escape and we’ve really enjoyed the creative process so far. Richard says that there is a difference between “real life” and the “adult game.” When he initially told me about his theory, it freaked me out. I thought I was dating a sociopath or something. But it actually makes a lot of sense. The adult game is what we have to play each day in order to pay our bills and buy food and real life is a collection of all the creative moments that happen in between. It’s what we live for. It makes all the other hoops and headaches worth it.   

Family - I value my family because they are present in all of the many parts of me. They accept and support and enjoy all of me--the academic, the goofball, the sob fest. They allow me to maintain my social integrity by loving me unconditionally. That’s pretty awesome.

I love spending quality time with my family. I’m lucky enough to live close to both my family and Richard’s family. As I’ve gotten older it’s been cool to watch family members transform into really good friends. I don’t know what I would do without my sisters--they are my bff’s. My family extends far beyond my brothers and sisters, too. I find myself surrounded by awesome friends who know how to have a ton of random fun, even though we are not teenagers anymore (bubblegun+99 red balloons+12am+empty parking lot=awesome). A husband is the best of both worlds, though. He is both family and friend, and mine is the best. I adore him.   

Fun - Yes, fun can be a value. What is the point of life if you are not having fun? Granted, you can’t have fun all the time (or can you?), but laughter and a good sense of humor can make the most horrendous experiences pretty awesome. I learned this lesson on my mission tracting in sleet with a shotty umbrella, endurance thinning, companion crying. Maybe insanity was sinking in, but when it seemed hopeless it just felt good to laugh. I tried to make my companion laugh too so it didn’t seem like I was laughing at her tears. And we made it through that nasty winter, dang it! And we had a lot of fun.

I also value spontaneous fun. I think I started falling in love with my husband (who was then my summer fling) while we were wandering around Wal-mart late one night making fun of big screen tv’s. We laughed so much.  I really fell hard for him (he had reached boyfriend status by this point) when we found a pit of mud while hiking one weekend and jumped in and pretended to be mud monsters. We’re so awesome. Our kids are going to love us.

Logic - As someone who has not always been especially logical and has made some pretty stupid and embarrassing and almost life altering (and not in a good way) decisions based off of her emotions, I REALLY value logic. I like people who think and act and speak logically. I like making logical choices--I never regret them.. I like picking my husband’s mind when I need to make those decisions because he is so smart, level headed, and logical. I hate emotional games that people play--nothing turns me off faster. I’ve found that logical decision making leads to steadiness and consistency, and that a consistent life is much more productive and much less traumatizing/dramatic.

There they are, my core values as of May 3, 2013. Woot woot!